Single. Bachelor. Going solo. Independent. On your Larry. There are a lot of ways to convey the fact that you’re unattached, but the response will always remain the same – the inevitable compassionate head tilt and ‘Hang in there, you trooper’ smile.
I am currently a happily single man, I genuinely am. Yet still, as the majority of people read that last sentence they won’t picture a content singleton, but rather a hollow facade for a man who spends his nights swaying in a darkened room, wiping his tears with old love letters while whining along to a ‘Dawson’s Creek’ soundtrack.
Here lies one of the main problems with wanting to stay single for an extended period of time. No matter how convincingly you say that it’s a conscious decision, friends (even the closest ones) will always assume that it’s a bad hand from the gods of fate rather than a lifestyle choice. “But why would you choose to be single?” they say. “Who will you share those Pizza Express vouchers with? Who’s going to take you to Madame Tussauds? How on earth can you sleep without another person dribbling on the pillow beside you?”
Believe it or not, but being single has been working for me recently. I like talking to female friends without receiving evil looks like I’ve just eaten a live kitten and wiped my mouth with an ‘I Heart Al Qaeda’ T-shirt. I like staying out late and I like not having to watch Hugh Grant movies (I still do, obviously, the man’s a hoot - but it’s having the choice that counts). There are lots of different reasons to breathe in the independence and embrace life on the single scene, yet still so many people seem desperate to find a partner as soon as possible, seemingly willing to yank out their own kidney if it means finding Mr/Mrs Right before their birthday/Christmas/Hanukkah/Valentine’s Day (delete as appropriate).
I’ve never understood the urgency that drives these people, content to relentlessly chase after love in the present rather than waiting for it to arrive when it does eventually decide to plod along into your life. Working with such a pressured time frame causes people to make rash decisions, settling for someone half adequate just because they are a) Available and b) Employed. “You like chips?! Oh. My. God. It’s fate...I love Chips! Hold the phone, you like bread?! Someone call the Priest!” I’ve never understood the rush. It’s kind of like a hungry person sprinting into a Morley’s when there’s a perfectly good KFC open five minutes down the road (and who said modern journalism wasn’t ‘with it’? Brap).
However, despite my better judgement, a small part of me is still anxious I’m not quite doing this whole ‘life’ thing right. Imagine you’re shopping on Oxford Street, when suddenly the thousands of pedestrians start sprinting for their lives straight past you. It might be a bomb alert, it could be a last-minute sale at Poundland, but either way it takes a brave man to stay put, waiting to find out. In the same sense it’s difficult for me to remain content in my stubbornly single ways when the world of dating (complete with its hidden desperation) seems so urgent and still so alien to me.
So for the next few months I will be joining the sprint. I will be your very own reluctant Carrie Bradshaw, embracing the unknown side of single life in the hope of uncovering the mysteries hidden in the depths of the dating scene. I am a self-professed sceptic, but for the next few months I am willing to cast my doubts aside, and you never know, I might even meet someone important along the way (girls without a love of Hugh Grant, KFC and bread need not apply).
I intend to jump headfirst into it all – blind dating, speed dating, online dating. From the bar scene to the club scene I plan on embracing everything (short of dropping my keys in a punch bowl) to understand what drives people to the lengths they will go to in order to meet their perfect partners.
No comments:
Post a Comment